Custody vs. Decision-Making Responsibility
Navigating Ontario's New Parenting Laws
Legal Strategy reviewed by Deepa Tailor, Senior Family Lawyer. Updated January 2026 to reflect the Divorce Act and Children's Law Reform Act (CLRA) amendments.
Too Busy to Read? The 30-Second Translation:
Old Term: "Custody" → New Term: "Decision-Making Responsibility" (Who makes the big choices on health/school/religion).
Old Term: "Access" → New Term: "Parenting Time" (The schedule of when the child is with you).
The Rule: There is NO presumption of 50/50 time. The only test is the "Best Interests of the Child."
The End of Ownership
For decades, the law treated children like property to be "won." Parents fought for "custody" as if it were a trophy. The language was adversarial, the outcomes binary: one parent "won," the other "lost."
The new laws change that. We don't fight for "custody"; we fight for a parenting plan that works.
"The shift from 'custody' to 'decision-making responsibility' isn't just semantic. It's a fundamental reframing: children aren't possessions to be divided. They're people who need stability, safety, and a relationship with both parents (when safe to do so)."
— Deepa Tailor, Senior Family Lawyer
This page will walk you through Ontario's modern parenting framework: what the terms mean, how decisions are made, and how to draft an order that protects your relationship with your child.
The New Language of Parenting
Ontario's Divorce Act (federal) and Children's Law Reform Act (provincial) were amended to replace outdated, adversarial terminology with child-focused language.
Old: Custody
New: Decision-Making Responsibility
The authority to make significant decisions about the child's health, education, culture, language, religion, and significant extra-curricular activities.
Old: Access
New: Parenting Time
The time a child spends in the care of a parent, including overnights, weekends, holidays, and day-to-day care.
Old: Visitation
New: Contact
Time spent with the child by someone other than a parent (e.g., grandparents, extended family). Does not include decision-making authority.
Why the change? The old terms implied ownership and conflict. The new terms focus on the child's needs and parental responsibilities, not parental rights.
The 3 Decision-Making Models
When it comes to major decisions about your child's life, Ontario law recognizes three models. The right model depends on your ability to communicate, the history of care, and whether there's been family violence.
| Model | How It Works | Best For | Risk |
|---|---|---|---|
Joint Decision-Making | Both parents must consult and agree on major decisions (health, education, religion, extracurriculars). | Low-conflict parents who can communicate effectively and compromise. | Deadlock. If you can't agree, you're back in court for every decision. |
Sole Decision-Making | One parent has final authority to make all major decisions (may still consult, but not required to agree). | High-conflict cases, family violence, or where one parent has been the primary caregiver. | The other parent may feel excluded or resentful, potentially leading to alienation claims. |
Parallel Decision-MakingDISRUPTOR | Decision-making is divided by domain. Example: Mom decides Health; Dad decides Education. No consultation required. | High-conflict families where both parents are capable but cannot cooperate. | Requires clear boundaries. Overlap areas (e.g., "Is therapy health or education?") must be defined. |
The Strategic Advantage of Parallel Parenting
Parallel Decision-Making is underutilized but highly effective for high-conflict families. It allows both parents to remain involved without the constant friction of joint consultation. We help families structure parallel plans that reduce conflict while protecting both parents' roles.
The "Best Interests of the Child" Test
Every parenting decision in Ontario is governed by a single principle: What is in the Best Interests of the Child? This isn't about what's fair to the parents. It's about what's best for the child.
The court considers a non-exhaustive list of factors. Here are the most important:
Child's Physical, Emotional, and Psychological Safety
Is the child safe from harm, abuse, or neglect? Courts prioritize safety above all else.
History of Care
Who has been the primary caregiver? Who takes the child to appointments, helps with homework, manages daily routines?
Ability to Meet the Child's Needs
Can each parent provide a stable home, emotional support, and meet the child's developmental needs?
Views and Preferences of the Child
Older children's wishes are considered (with more weight given to teenagers), but they don't get to "decide."
Relationship with Siblings and Extended Family
Courts try to keep siblings together and maintain important family relationships (grandparents, etc.).
Willingness to Facilitate the Other Parent's Relationship
The "Friendly Parent" rule: Courts favor the parent who encourages a relationship with the other side (unless safety is an issue).
Family Violence
Any history of violence, coercive control, or abuse is a primary consideration. This includes violence witnessed by the child.
Cultural, Linguistic, Religious, and Spiritual Upbringing
The child's heritage and identity are protected. Courts consider continuity in cultural practices.
The "Friendly Parent" Rule
Courts look favorably on the parent who encourages a relationship with the other parent. If you're seen as obstructing access, making false allegations, or alienating the child, it can seriously damage your case. Cooperation (when safe) is strategic.
Common Parenting Time Schedules
There is no presumption of 50/50 parenting time in Ontario. The schedule must be based on the Best Interests of the Child. Here are the most common arrangements:
Week On / Week Off
50/50 SplitHow it works: Child alternates full weeks with each parent. Requires minimal exchanges.
Best for: Parents who live close to each other and the child's school. Works well for older children.
2-2-3 Schedule
50/50 SplitHow it works: Mon-Tue with Parent A, Wed-Thu with Parent B, Fri-Sun alternates. More frequent exchanges.
Best for: Younger children who need more frequent contact with both parents.
5-2-2-5 Schedule
50/50 SplitHow it works: Parent A: Mon-Tue (every week) + every other Fri-Sun. Parent B: Wed-Thu (every week) + alternating Fri-Sun.
Best for: Provides consistency (same weekdays) while maintaining equal time.
Every Other Weekend
80/20 SplitHow it works: Child lives primarily with one parent. Other parent has alternating weekends + one weeknight.
Best for: When one parent has been the primary caregiver or parents live far apart.
Custom / Hybrid
Variable SplitHow it works: Tailored schedule based on work schedules, school, extracurriculars, and the child's needs.
Best for: Families with unique circumstances (shift work, travel, special needs).
Important: "Shared Parenting" (where each parent has the child at least 40% of the time) affects child support calculations but doesn't eliminate the obligation.
The Federal Child Support Guidelines use a "set-off" method or consider the condition, means, needs, and other circumstances of each parent.
Parenting Plan Checklist
Includes: Editable templates, sample clauses, and a step-by-step guide to drafting your parenting plan.
Thinking of Separating? Know Where You Stand.
Download our Parenting Plan Checklist and get clarity on decision-making, schedules, and how to protect your relationship with your child.
- Understand your rights under the new parenting laws
- Avoid common mistakes that lead to court battles
- Get sample clauses for your parenting agreement
Family Violence & Alienation: When Safety is at Stake
Not all conflict is equal. There's a critical difference between high conflict (two people arguing) and family violence (one person dominating, controlling, or harming the other).
High Conflict
Definition: Both parents engage in ongoing disputes, poor communication, and difficulty cooperating. Neither is necessarily "at fault."
Solutions:
- Parallel Parenting: Divide decision-making to reduce contact.
- Communication Tools: Use apps like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents (court-admissible).
- Mediation/Arbitration: Resolve disputes outside of court.
Family Violence
Definition: Physical, sexual, psychological, or financial abuse. Includes coercive control, threats, and violence witnessed by the child.
Legal Consequences:
- Supervised Access: Visits occur at a supervised access center.
- No Contact: In severe cases, the abusive parent may have no parenting time.
- Sole Decision-Making: The safe parent gets full authority.
Parental Alienation
What it is: When one parent systematically undermines the child's relationship with the other parent through manipulation, false allegations, or interference.
Signs of Alienation:
- Child refuses contact with no legitimate reason
- Child parrots the alienating parent's language
- Child shows no ambivalence (all good/all bad thinking)
- Child makes false abuse allegations
- Child rejects extended family on the targeted side
- Alienating parent violates court orders
Court Remedies: Therapy (reunification counseling), changes to decision-making responsibility, or even a change in primary residence in severe cases. Courts take alienation seriously because it harms the child.
If safety is at risk: If you or your child are in danger, or if the Children's Aid Society (CAS) is involved, you need immediate legal advice.Learn about CAS defense strategies.
Drafting the Order: Precision Prevents Conflict
A vague parenting order is a recipe for endless conflict. "Reasonable access" means nothing when parents disagree on what's "reasonable." We draft parenting plans that cover every detail.
What a Detailed Parenting Plan Includes:
The Schedule
- Regular weekly schedule
- Holiday rotation (Christmas, March Break, etc.)
- Summer vacation allocation
- Special occasions (birthdays, Mother's/Father's Day)
Transportation
- Who picks up/drops off?
- Meeting locations for exchanges
- What happens if someone is late?
- Travel with the child (passport, consent)
Communication
- How parents communicate (email, app, phone)
- Child's right to contact the other parent
- Emergency contact protocols
- Sharing school/medical information
Decision-Making
- Who decides health, education, religion?
- Consultation requirements
- Dispute resolution (mediation, arbitration)
- Tie-breaking mechanisms
Expenses
- Child support amount
- Section 7 expenses (daycare, extracurriculars)
- How expenses are shared
- Reimbursement timelines
Safety Provisions
- Supervised access conditions (if applicable)
- No-contact provisions
- Substance abuse testing
- Restrictions on new partners
The Cost of Vagueness
We've seen parents return to court dozens of times because their original order said things like "reasonable notice" or "as agreed between the parties." When you can't agree, you're back in front of a judge. Detailed orders create peace. Vague orders create conflict.
Frequently Asked Questions
Your Child Needs Stability, Not a Battle
We help parents create detailed, enforceable parenting plans that protect your relationship with your child and reduce conflict.
Strategic Advice
Understand your rights under the new parenting laws
Detailed Orders
Draft parenting plans that prevent future conflict
Court Representation
Experienced advocacy in high-conflict cases
Deepa Tailor, Senior Family Lawyer & Founder
Deepa Tailor is a Senior Family Lawyer specializing in Ontario divorce proceedings, complex property division, and high-stakes custody disputes. She provides strategic, results-driven advocacy to help clients protect their assets and secure their children's future, whether through amicable negotiation or vigorous courtroom representation.
View Full Bio