How Can Collaborative Divorce Help Support Children Through Separation and Divorce?
When parents divorce, it can be difficult and stressful for children. The collaborative divorce process helps create a plan that will allow the child’s needs to be met with minimal disruption to their lives. This blog post outlines some of the benefits this approach can provide and how it differs from traditional divorce litigation.
An experienced divorce lawyer in Toronto will help you through the process of getting a legal separation or ending your marriage with dignity. Tailor Law’s divorce lawyers in Mississauga represent clients in all stages of individual and family law.
What is Collaborative Divorce and How Does it Work?
A collaborative divorce is an alternative to traditional court-based divorce. It is meant to help the two divorcing spouses reach a separation agreement on their own terms rather than have a court impose them.
One of the key elements of this collaboration is the focus on the child’s needs by working together to find common ground between the parents. This divorce method sees both parents hire their own respective lawyers who are specifically trained in collaborative law. Once this is done, both parents and their lawyers will sign a contract to officially negotiate the divorce amicably through a series of meetings[1]. Collaborative separation can include expert input from mental health professionals, financial experts, family law mediators or counsellors who will help the parties communicate more effectively to find the best solutions for the children of the divorcing spouses.
The Impacts a Divorce Can Have on Children
Children who go through the process of living through their parents’ divorce will often experience stress and anxiety, and other additional feelings such as guilt or sadness. A child may feel guilty if they believe that they played a part in the breakdown of their parent’s relationship. Children might try to protect their parents by blaming themselves for their parent’s unhappiness. This is an important time for both parties to work together to create a separation agreement that benefits the children.
The Support and Benefits a Collaborative Divorce Can Provide to Children of Divorcing Parents
Parents are immediately putting their children’s best interest at the forefront of the divorce by choosing to go through a collaborative divorce rather than pursuing a court-litigated divorce. Here are some of the many advantages parents can expect to see for their children when working together to reach an agreement in the context of a collaborative divorce.
(1) Collaborative divorce can reduce the emotional upheaval of divorce by minimizing conflict
The parties have agreed to engage in problem-solving which will lower the tension levels. A collaborative environment between both parents and experts can help resolve disputes more easily. Divorce can be achieved through collaborative means, which is beneficial to both parties.
The environment a child is raised in can have a drastic impact on the parents’ stress levels.
(2) Collaborative divorces are focused on child well-being and can include child specialists
During a divorce, tensions can run high. Consequently, if a parent wishes to discuss some matters with the couple’s children, the other parent may have some skepticism about the motives of the discussion. As such, one of the benefits of a collaborative divorce is the possibility of including a neutral third person who can interview the children “to bring the children’s concerns and views into the process”[2]. Often, this is a child specialist who understands the intricacies of a child’s needs.
The parties can find an agreement by having a specialist bring the child’s point of view to their attention. If a child feels like they are being heard, they will ultimately be much happier with the divorce negotiations.
(3) Parents can avoid court-related scheduling problems
Let’s face it, parents with children have busy schedules even without dealing with a divorce. If a couple proceeds with a court-litigated divorce, this means constant disruptions to their schedules to meet the court’s demands. Divorcing spouses can choose to have a collaborative divorce, which allows them to make their own schedules. Most children want their parents to be more involved in their lives.
(4) Children will be less likely to develop preventable mental health problems
Consider the following: “Children of divorce [are] significantly more likely to have behavioural, internalizing, social, and academic problems when compared with children from continuously married families”[3]. Children’s mental health can be negatively impacted by divorce, so reducing tension between parents is important.
By going through a collaborative divorce, children will be exposed to a much more calm and respectful environment. A child’s mental health is very important and should be taken care of to ensure they have a good future.
(5) Collaborative divorce will help parents create parenting plans that address their child’s needs
Couples often fight so intensely about custody that they forget what is best for their child. Collaborative divorce helps parents identify what they want while keeping their children’s best interests in mind. As well, it can help parents create a parenting plan that is tailored for their children. Who better to create such a plan than the people raising the kids? Parents are still able to make decisions about custody without going through a court.
(6) Achieving a mutual agreement through a collaborative divorce will help parents and children alike move forward with their lives
Drawn out and antagonistic divorce court proceedings can be tremendously harmful to a child. If both parents can reach a mutual agreement through collaborative negotiations, they can move forward with the next chapter in their lives. This includes the children.
The parents are getting divorced and need to get the procedure done so life can move on. So why not work towards a common goal of settling familial affairs in a safe and open environment where everyone is working towards a beneficial solution? Children want to live their childhood free of family problems! Parents getting a divorce should try to find a solution quickly and amicably to make things easier on their children.
Simply put,
A divorcing couple who has children should never forget that their children’s best interest is the most important element they should consider during divorce proceedings. Being a parent means being selfless for the sake of your kids. A divorcing couple can choose to go through a collaborative divorce in order to benefit their kids while reducing stress. Parents want the best for their kids, and if there is an option that provides copious amounts of benefits for their kids, they will likely try to pursue it.
If you are looking for a divorce lawyer to represent your best interest, then Tailor Law is the perfect place. They have years of experience in helping people just like yourself get through this difficult time with their knowledge and skillset that will be sure not only help resolve any issues but also make things go much smoother than they would otherwise
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